Insights into hoarding...more from Oprah
I took notes like crazy seeing Dr. Tolin on Oprah last week, talking about compulsive hoarding. Here were some important bits that I want to share:
Clutter can accumulate for a variety of reasons. Here are three I want to highlight:
1. Might be useful - (but is it useful if buried and you can't find it when you need it?)
2. Strong emotional attachment - sometimes this over-rides the actual relationship to the person.
3. Perfectionism- ...in the sense of "I can't make the perfect decision for this right now, so I'm going to let it stay right there until I can..." and 10yrs later, voila: serious clutter. I like to say "done is better than perfect," a quote from Robin Korn's husband...
I'm also into asking "is this thing a gimmick" when either shopping or clearing clutter. Meaning- do I need a cantaloupe/avocado scooper or a plastic bit that keeps my bra straps from showing on tank tops? (Think: Bed Bath Beyond!!)
Peter Walsh said a good question to mantra for families with clutter is to say "My family is more important than stuff." or ask yourself, when shopping, "will this (thing) move me closer to the vision I want for my family (or my house) or further away from it?"
Think: "Quality of relationships, not QUANTITY of stuff." - Peter Walsh.
Note: When your clutter gets cleaned up your relationships will change- just like if you're getting sober or abandoning another addictive behavior.
Peter went on to say "Clutter masks your authentic self."
BIG WORDS: "Until we talk about your loneliness, boredom and sadness, we're not going to touch what's going on here..." Which, I want to emphasise is advice for any addiction- workaholism, alcoholism, hoarding, shopping addiction...
...all for now.
Clutter can accumulate for a variety of reasons. Here are three I want to highlight:
1. Might be useful - (but is it useful if buried and you can't find it when you need it?)
2. Strong emotional attachment - sometimes this over-rides the actual relationship to the person.
3. Perfectionism- ...in the sense of "I can't make the perfect decision for this right now, so I'm going to let it stay right there until I can..." and 10yrs later, voila: serious clutter. I like to say "done is better than perfect," a quote from Robin Korn's husband...
I'm also into asking "is this thing a gimmick" when either shopping or clearing clutter. Meaning- do I need a cantaloupe/avocado scooper or a plastic bit that keeps my bra straps from showing on tank tops? (Think: Bed Bath Beyond!!)
Peter Walsh said a good question to mantra for families with clutter is to say "My family is more important than stuff." or ask yourself, when shopping, "will this (thing) move me closer to the vision I want for my family (or my house) or further away from it?"
Think: "Quality of relationships, not QUANTITY of stuff." - Peter Walsh.
Note: When your clutter gets cleaned up your relationships will change- just like if you're getting sober or abandoning another addictive behavior.
Peter went on to say "Clutter masks your authentic self."
BIG WORDS: "Until we talk about your loneliness, boredom and sadness, we're not going to touch what's going on here..." Which, I want to emphasise is advice for any addiction- workaholism, alcoholism, hoarding, shopping addiction...
...all for now.
posted by Liz Canavan @ 2:23 PM
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